I was 9 years old when I found out my father was   36  . It was 1994, but I can remembe

I was 9 years old when I found out my father was   36  . It was 1994, but I can remember my mother’s words as if it   37   yesterday: “Kerrel, I don’t want you to take food   38   your father, because he has AIDS. Be very careful when you are around him.”

AIDS wasn’t   39   we talked about in my country when I was growing up. From then on, I knew that this would be a family   40  . My parents were not together anymore, and my dad lived alone. For a while, he could take care of himself. But when I was 12, his condition worsened. My father’s   41   children lived far away, so it   42   to me to look after him. We couldn’t afford all the necessary medication for him, and   43   Dad was unable to work, I had no money for school supplies and often couldn’t   44   buy food for dinner. I would sit   45   feeling completely   46  , the teacher’s words muffled as I tried to figure out   47   I was going to manage.

I didn’t share my burden with anyone. I had seen how people reacted to AIDS. Kids   48   classmates who had parents with the disease. And even adults could be cruel. When my father was moved to the hospital, the nurses would leave his food on the bedside table even though he was   49   weak to feed himself. I had known that he was going to die,   50   after so many years of keeping his condition a secret, I was completely unprepared when he reached his final days. Sad and   51  , I   52   a woman at the non profit National AIDS Support. That day, she   53   me on the phone for hours. I was so lucky to find someone who cared. She saved my life.

I was 15 when my father died. He took his secret away with him, having never spoken about AIDS to anyone, even me. He didn’t want to call attention to   54  . I   55  .

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